For all the profoundly overarching features of 2020 common to all of us, for every single one of us, we have to travel our own road day to day. With this in mind, this past week I’ve been given to consider significant events in my own life in the year past. What’s related below is limited to three that are of prima facie albeit entirely personal significance but my gentle readers most of whom have come to know me over the years might find the doing of this relevant to their own lives, and consequently spark their own, hopefully productive, introspection.
June 28, 2020- Keith and I mark 40 years together
It is hard to overstate the importance of this in my own life, to say nothing of the naked fact that, save my own mortal span, nothing is of longer duration. I joke that, if we decided to call it a day, our mutual affairs would be so difficult to unwind that Keith McCullar and I find it easier to just soldier on. And that’s always what it is- a joke not to be taken one whit seriously. When we met and within weeks plighted our troth, gay relationships were typically measured in weeks, not years- and were yet in many jurisdictions outright illegal- but for myself, it never seemed that we’d be anything but a permanency. Of course, we’ve had some trying times but not recently, and in hindsight, those very few times were brief and ultimately had little effect on either singly, or more importantly, both of us together. Though our relationship was legally sanctioned in 2013, it is the earlier date we both of us continue to mark.
July 25, 2020- Keith’s 60th birthday
For the few of you arithmetically inclined, you’ve now worked out that Keith was 19, on the cusp of 20, when we got together. He should pen this, by rights, as perhaps he should have at least contributed something to the prior entry above, but, well, I’ve got the keys to the blog posts. So of course this represents my opinion entirely, and my opinion is, there is no one I know who’s character and probity, strong in the beginning, has remained so steadfast. Not quirky, not erratic, but always the same. Mind you, that’s not to say dull, because certainly within our own relationship, Keith remains- what shall we say?- a live wire. He has strong opinions, but expresses them to me, fits of anger, but generally expresses them to me- or more typically ‘at’ me the result of some kind of error, egregious or otherwise, I’ve committed. My gentle readers might be surprised, I say this with tongue firmly in cheek, to find that some consider my ego at times inflated, which inflation results in some occasional episodes of self-importance and pomposity. It is a job Keith has taken on gladly, and to my benefit, gleefully serves as the deflator man. Neither of us is less than complex in our personalities, but it is Keith who functions to keep us both at a level where we can at least occasionally interface with those possessed of shall we say simpler mien. In the main though, and this from the start, there’s been laughter, and though Keith has never been able to tell a joke, he can make me laugh quicker than anyone can. Mind you, those few who’ve seen Keith’s anger directed at them, and there are very few, will never forget it.
September 17, 2020- the death of Ann Chappell
My mother’s death a few months ago was expected, having been diagnosed a couple of months prior with a type of bone cancer. Her wish was to not receive treatment, with the ultimate consequence. Mother had lived her own life on her own terms up to the end, and in her own home. My father died five and a half years earlier- similarly, largely in good health until his short final illness. My mother though did not repine, but enjoyed herself the last few years, with innumerable trips to see her grandchildren, great grandchildren, and friends near and far. I can’t honestly say her death left me bereft in any measurable degree, and this may be my inheritance from her- a well-centred practicality in accepting that death is ultimately what waits for all of us and if we can enjoy our lives up to the end, what more could we want?
These three are briefly told and doubtless the global pandemic and political upheaval in this country must perforce color these events. Not sure how in any material way, however, but for travel that was postponed or condensed social interaction, but everything of significance occurred anyway. I doubt whether not traveling to London or Rome or Honolulu, or having a smaller funeral, all external factors that shouldn’t have, and in my opinion didn’t, function to make anything for me this past year any less important.